Rites of Passage Circle: find out more about this very special container
The benefits of gathering in circle: a Rites of Passage circle as a catalyst for change, growth and support
Transitions have been a big theme for me over the past several years. From divorce, to peri-menopause, to moving across the country, to various losses, to retraining as a counsellor and therapist, there have been a lot of big shifts that have required space for processing, exploration and reflection. I’ve created this space for myself in a number of ways. From attending various circles and ceremonies, to yoga, to my own rituals and spiritual practice, having containers to be held, to hold myself, to be with my feelings and to allow grief has been a really important part of my processing. And yet there isn’t a natural space for this work to take place in our culture.
I’ve attended two beautiful rites of passage ceremonies in the last year, one for a friend who’s getting married and one for a friend who had a baby and they were beautiful but it struck me that so many transitions and rites of passage go unacknowledged and unhonoured. From menopause to graduation, health struggles, to the beginning or ending of a relationship, honouring our rites of passages can and should be an important anchor that helps us to move through change and transitions.
Rites of passages can include pregnancy and parenthood, coming out, spiritual changes, life stage transitions, new jobs, pregnancy loss, relocation, exploring gender, navigating loss, or any other life transition. Whether the change is welcome or difficult to navigate, connecting with these rites of passages in an intentional way offers a powerful opportunity for growth and reflection.
A rites of passage circle as an intentional space where people come together to connect, share, and support each other through life’s transitions
You’ve probably heard of women’s circles, men’s circles, moon circles or other circles where people come together. There are so many ways to gather in circle. From red tents to sacred ceremonies, cultures around the world have traditions where they come together in a circle space to connect, support each other, to explore and to grow.
My own experience of circles, whether it’s the regular circle I attend, or the one off ceremonial circles that I’ve sat in with various teachers and space holders, have been a powerful catalyst for change and growth that’s been really unique to my healing journey. Now I want to create a space where we specifically focus on and explore life’s changes, in community, in a supportively held space.
As humans we can only do so much of our healing work alone. We need co-creation and co-regulation. Co-regulation means warm and responsive interactions between humans that help us to understand, express and regulate our feelings, thoughts and experiences. Being affirmed in this way gives us a space to heal, grow, and change the way we see ourselves.
A rites of passage circle is an intentional gathering where people come together to connect, share, and support each other.
If you’re still not sure what a circle is, it’s an intentional gathering. People come together to connect, share, and support each other. Different circles have different focuses. There are some principles of being in circle that you find replicated across circles all around the world. We hold space for each other without judgement, there’s no cross-talk or advice offered, we treat all stories, ideas and personal material with the utmost confidentiality and we come as we are.
The format of The Circle varies but there is often an opening meditation and check in, intention setting, a practice such as a ritual or a journaling practice, a ‘share’ where we each have an opportunity to share thoughts, feelings and experiences if we wish, and a closing meditation to integrate our experiences. We also explore reflections around the energy of the season or ideas around psychology or spirituality. This will be an important aspect of the Rites of Passage circle as our own transitions don’t happen in isolation; nature and the world around us is in a state of transition too.
A rites of passage circle as a place to practise conscious relating
A circle is essentially a space to practise conscious relating. This is a powerful way for us to deepen our understanding of ourselves and others. One of the most powerful parts of my own journey with circles and professional development groups has been moving from a place where I saw the world in a fairly black and white way, to being able to hold a variety of different opinions and experiences as being true for others.
Being present, listening actively, and being vulnerable helps us to build on our empathy and compassion, and develop deep connections. Being witnessed and having our experiences validated is a powerful process for self understanding.
This takes time and if you feel resistant to the idea of vulnerability and sharing please know that there is no expectation to share or participate in any aspect of the circle that doesn’t feel right for you in the moment. The principle of ‘come as you are’ means honouring where you’re at in terms of your energy, emotions and cycles of life. I say often that everything is an invitation. When we’re exploring rites of passage, some people will be navigating rites of passages that are welcome and others will be exploring unwelcome life events. We hold all of this without judgement. Everything is welcome.
The circle is a supportive environment that allows you to explore ideas together without judgement.
I’ll finish by saying that joining a circle is a great tool for support, connection to community and exploration of yourself. Some of the people I’ve met through the circles I’ve been a regular part of are now my very closest friends, and people I’ve met in one off circles and ceremonies have been an instrumental part of my journey.
Your investment in your healing ripples outwards. Showing up as your full self, being vulnerable and getting comfortable with sharing takes time but I’m here to hold space for you and support you as you reflect, explore and grow.
For those who don’t know me I’m a counsellor and therapist, offering somatic trauma work as well as psychological therapies. I’m also a yoga teacher, a meditation teacher and a pagan priestess who specialises in holding inclusive and trauma informed spaces.
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