You might never be 'healed'

mental healthreflectionwellbeingpsychology

9 Oct

Thoughts on healing and self acceptance.

Let me say that again; you might never be healed’.

How does it feel to read that?

We’re taught to think of healing as a final destination; a journey with an end point. If I take these logical steps, if I do this work, if I work hard enough, I’ll become a healed version of myself.

This is true to a point. The beginning of our healing journey can have some very clear and logical steps: connect with ourselves, identify the sources of our suffering, bring our unconsciousness into consciousness, and feel our feelings.

At some point in our healing we have to learn to be ok with ourselves in this moment

At some point in our healing though, we have to learn to be ok with ourselves in this moment. If we are constantly focussed on working towards our idea of a healed version of oursevles; if we are constantly working towards being that version, we are not giving ourselves grace and compassion for where we are now.

I am a do-er when it comes to my own healing. I work HARD at it. It’s a daily focus in my life. And I a grateful for where I am. I have worked through a lot of my past trauma, I have strategies and tools to manage my mental health and wellbeing, and I am the most resilient I have ever been. Am I healed, though? No. The next stage of my journey is to cultivate acceptance and compassion for this version of me. The human I am now; beautifully messy and flawed. I accept myself and all of my wounds.

I accept myself and all of my wounds.

Every adverse experience we go through changes us and I carry my life experiences up with me, in the same way we all do. We are more than the sum of our parts, yes, but those parts need to be seen, accepted and honoured. That’s not to say we have to let those parts run our lives in the present. Through non-attachment, recognising our patterns and cultivating connection to ourselves, we can live rich, full, joyful and peaceful lives.

My past does not define me, but it has shaped who I aim as a person. I am willing to accept who that person is in the here and now, rather than seeing myself as a project or something that always needs to be worked on.