Recent reflections: liminal space, tools for your wellbeing toolkit and reflections on one year sober
Hello friends. Today I’m sharing another periodic round up of reflections from Instagram. I do a lot of my in the moment sharing over there. You can check out my last round up here or head over to my profile and follow me if you’d like to stay up to date. I also share reflections, along with other tools to support you, in my monthly news letter which you can access here.
Recently I’ve been reflecting on the following:
Liminal space
One year sober
How we connect with what’s beautiful in hard times
What matters to me as a counsellor, therapist and space holder
Befriending your nervous system
Keep scrolling to find out more. If you’d like to work with me, you can check out my offerings here and you can head here for information about my counselling services.
Liminal Space
Doggerland is a lyrical and poetically beautiful exploration of a land that existed as a bridge between the UK and mainland Europe but has now vanished into the ocean. I am drawn to the water over and over again but I’ve never really been able to quantify why. The ocean is in me; my great grandad was a fisherman from a long line of fishermen and one of my most treasured possessions is an old photograph of him in a rowing boat, with my grandad as a boy, against the backdrop of a misty harbour and a line of of Victorian sail boats. The shoreline and the ocean, in the words of Julia Blackburn, is a liminal space. If you scroll back through my instagram feed you’ll see my various reflections on the archetype of the void and how hard I have to work to surrender to not knowing. Maybe it’s the power of the ocean which means surrender is the only possibility, removing resistance and allowing only flow. These watery metaphors have followed me around for a while and I remember speaking to therapists and healers about feeling unmoored and needing a safe harbour. And then I moved onto a boat. There was no conclusion to this reflection, which seems fitting. What is your relationship to liminal space?
One Year Sober
Exactly a year ago I went out for a drink with a friend and the night ended in a way that felt messy. I got upset about something and my drunken state meant I was completely unable to regulate my nervous system and I felt the effects of this for several days afterwards. I haven’t had a drink since.
I wouldn’t say I’ve ever had a problem with alcohol; I could go for weeks or months without drinking but when I did drink I didn’t really have any ability to control my impulses. Once I started drinking I had no off switch. Read the rest of my reflections about sobriety here.
What’s beautiful in all of this?
This is a question I asked one of my clients recently. They’re an activist who, unsurprisingly, is feeling the weight of the work they do and the heaviness of the world right now. A vast majority of people who are involved in activism are doing work that directly requires them to relive their trauma over and over again. Whether it’s anti-racism, disability justice, fat liberation or even environmental activism, the work of an activist is to be reminded over and over again of the dehumanisation of people and the priority of profit over life by systems of structural oppression. When dehumanisation is also linked to the individual’s experience of trauma as a marginalised person, we can see why this work takes its toll on the people who do it. So what’s beautiful in all of this? Head here for some further reflections
What matters?
In this post I shared a little more about who I am as a person and the values that underpin the way I move through the world. In my work as a counsellor, therapist, meditation teacher and sound healer, I often work with people who have experienced marginalisation and trauma due to systemic oppression. In my post I’m sharing some reflections about my values and the commitments I make, to safely support the people who I work with, along with understanding the impact of oppression due to identity or intersectional aspects of identity.
My values have always strongly underpinned my work and it’s always been important to me to do work that mattered to me. I’ve worked in Local Government, the charity sector and I ran a values led photography business and education company for photographers. From creativity to connection, I’ve always deeply cared about the work that I do. Head to this post to read more about the values that underpin my work.
Befriend your nervous system with polyvagal theory
The Polyvagal Ladder is a concept that was developed by Deb Dana, based on Dr. Stephen Porges’s polyvagal theory. It’s a helpful way of understanding and working with our nervous systems. Polyvagal theory suggests that our nervous system operates in different states, depending on our perception of safety and threat. You can find out more about the role the nervous system plays in mental health and wellbeing here.
For those seeking to befriend their nervous systems, understanding these states and learning how to navigate them can be really helpful. Head to this post for a break down of each state along with a suggested exercise for further exploration or as a response.
