How to find a therapist or counsellor when you don’t know where to start

Working out how to find a therapist or counsellor can feel really overwhelming. If you’ve never had therapy before, and even if it’s not your first time, you’re taking a brave and amazing step. Really. I am always hugely aware of the courage it can take to reach out, to ask for support and to commit to exploring your struggles. And I’ve been there. Like many people working in this area, I’ve had my own journey with my mental health and the struggles of being human. I’m a therapist/counsellor who has (extensively!) been to therapy/counselling so I know how hard those first steps can feel.

So where do you begin, when looking for a therapist or counsellor?

A good starting place is recognising what you’re struggling with. A question I always ask potential counselling clients is “what is bringing you to therapy and why now”. The why now is important because the things we’ve struggled with are likely to have been present for a while but there’s often a tipping point where we realise we don’t want to do this alone. Being clear about your struggles and how they impact you in the here and now can help you to find a therapist who’s a good fit.

In this post I’m sharing some suggestions about things you might want to think about when finding a counsellor, especially if you have aspects (or intersectional aspects) of your identity that are impacted by structural oppression and marginalisation.

How to find a therapist or counsellor when you don’t know where to start

Finding a therapist or counsellor that aligns with your financial position

This can be one of the hardest parts of finding a therapist or counsellor. In the NHS waiting lists can be long and private therapy can be expensive. Here’s a breakdown of some available options, based on your budget.

Free of charge: The NHS offers talking therapies, access routes can include your GP or self-referrals through NHS Talking Therapies for Anxiety and Depression. Programmes are in place to support mental health struggles such as anxiety, depression and stress. The number of NHS counselling sessions offered will depend on your struggles but it’s likely to be around 6. This can be great for starting to explore your struggles but many people find a longer, ongoing counselling relationship is needed to really work through what they’re bringing to counselling. NHS waiting lists can, unfortunately, be long and therapy is usually shorter term.

I offer a number of free counselling sessions for people involved in social justice or activism work. I have a waiting list for these sessions and you can find out more here. If you’re a counsellor or psychotherapist who’d like to pay it forward and offer free spaces to those working in activism spaces, drop me a message and let’s collaborate.

Low cost/charity based services: third sector and charities offering support in Birmingham and The Black Country include:

Carrs Lane Counselling Centre offers counselling for adults and couples, assisting you with a range of issues at a low cost first class service in Birmingham city centre
Pattigift Therapy provides a service embedded in African centred psychological thinking into their practice, creating space to heal from trauma resulting from psychological oppression
The Kaleidoscope Group strives to provide a holistic approach to mental health services and operates on a sliding pay scale based on your household income

Private counselling or psychotherapy: private therapy can cost anywhere between £40 and £150 per hour. I offer sliding scale pricing as it’s important to me to ensure my services are as accessible as possible. I also offer fortnightly appointments which not only helps to spread the financial commitment but also gives you some space in between sessions to process your experience. You can find more details about my therapeutic counselling services here.

As mention above, you ideally want to work with someone who’s qualified to work as a therapist and who is a member of a professional body. My training, for example, was BACP accredited. Professional bodies ensure that counsellors and psychotherapists work within a code of ethics, that we receive regular supervision, and that we undertake regular professional development. Both the British Association of Counsellor and Therapists (which is my professional body) and the United Kingdom Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP) have a register of therapists that you can search.

BACP - Therapist Directory - Find a therapist

UKCP – Find a Therapist

Location is a factor that you might want to consider; how far are you willing to travel for therapy? Or are you happy to work with your therapist online? Many private therapists and counsellors work in this way now, following the pandemic. There are pros and cons to both online and in person work. If you’re having therapy at home, over zoom you’ll need a safe, private space where you won’t be overheard.

Cultural competence and the therapist or counsellor’s ability to work with aspects of identity that lead to oppression

This is something to think about if working with someone who shares aspects of your identity is important to you. For example gender, race, disability, sexuality and religion are all things that you might want to consider when choosing a therapist.

Not every counsellor or therapist has in depth awareness of the way in which different aspects of a person’s identity impact them and not every therapist offers identity affirming spaces. In my own experience of having therapy as a neurodivergent person, I haven’t always had positive experiences that take the impact of this aspect of my experience into account. A fellow therapist friend who is bi-racial has also had some challenging experiences’

“Trying to find a therapists that is the right ‘fit’ felt disheartening and confusing. I experienced micro-aggressions I started to think that I might be the problem; that I didn’t know how to ‘do’ therapy. It’s not impossible to find a therapist who can acknowledge the impact of racial difference in the therapy room, though. My current therapist has done exactly that and the trust and respect shared between us only continues to grow”

It’s incredibly important to me that the space I offer is LGBTQIA+ affirming, disability affirming, neurodiversity affirming, anti-racist and fat-positive.
Resources for people who are looking for identity affirming therapists:

The Neurodivergent Therapist Association

The Black African and Asian therapy network

Questions you might want to ask a potential therapist around identity include:

How would you describe your understanding of working with clients who share my [insert your identity here]
How do you work with people who have experienced structural or systemic oppression?
How comfortable are you talking about issues such as microaggressions, privilege and oppression?
What work have you done to understand your own privilege, biases and the ways you benefit from oppressive structures?
What work has your clinical supervisor done to understand their privilege, biases and the ways they benefit from oppressive structures?
How do you work with intersectionality (i.e the way that overlapping identities impact the prejudice and discrimination some people experience)

What else can I do, while I wait for therapy or counselling?

Exploring alternatives while you wait to start therapy can help to support your personal growth and healing.

I’ve provided a comprehensive list of mental health and wellbeing resources here. This includes access to a free, online CBT programme, specialist organisations for support with issues like grief, online resources around neurodivergence and a whole load more. You’ll also find details of events I run, including a free weekly wellbeing walk, here. Do also check out the free meditation practices on my youtube channel.

If you’d like to work with me you can find more information and contact me here.

Some final reflections on finding a therapist or counsellor

Finding the right therapist can sometimes be a journey in itself. Just like buying a pair of shoes; you might try on several styles and sizes before finding a pair that feels supportive and suits you.

The last thing I’ll say is that your relationship with your counsellor or therapist is just like your relationship with anyone else. You’re both humans and there is a process of getting to know each other and working through anything that comes up. Don’t be afraid to ask questions or share any struggles or frustrations with the process. This gives you both an opportunity to work collaboratively together, so you get the most out of your experience.